I Swear This Is A True Story

This morning I took the kids to the park down the street.  This is so bizarre, but it's the first time that I've taken them to this park by myself, D has always gone with us.  Anyway, I take them down there and there are five other moms with bunches of kids, two dads with some kids, and a grandma with a kid that looked way to old for her to be treating him like a toddler and holding him on the slide.  No one talked to me, so I immediately have a chip on my shoulder that will no doubt cloud my judgement for the rest of this post.... be forewarned.

One of the moms had four kids with her, two of them were strapped into a stroller the whole time and she didn't let them out to play... and they were fine with it.  Were they doped up on Benadryl?  Perhaps.  She was there with two other moms that were sisters- I think- and had way too many kids between the two of them.

One dad had dreads and was not spoken to- much like myself.  He seemed nice.

The other dad looked wise beyond his years with salt and pepper hair and leather Teva's, but when I heard him talk I knew that he was not, in fact, wise.

The other two moms were loud mouths (I'll call them loud mom #1 and 2 from here on), they liked to hear themselves talk (but not to me).

Now to the good stuff.  The loud mouths and the wise dad had a lot to talk about and it made for some really good listening.  The first thing I learned about loud mom #1 was that she was conceived because her mom's diaphragm had so many holes in it it could have been a colander.  Can you imagine!?  Oh oh oh, and that there hasn't been a planned pregnancy in her family for generations.  !!!! 

At this point I took out my phone and started taking notes. 

Loud mom #2 said that her mom was on birth control when she was conceived and the doctor told her to abort the pregnancy- obviously she didn't.   She added that in, just in case they didn't know that she was actually alive.  #2 takes pride in the fact that she's had three planned pregnancies.  Wise dad felt this would be the perfect time to chime in with the info that his son was conceived in a hot tub in Hilton Head, which could be the reason that he doesn't like to swim...?  Eeew.  They went on to talk about how True Blood is like soft porn, except not really soft, so it's just porn.

C and G decided to run to the other end of the park so I had to walk away, but I did keep hearing snippets of conversation such as "mother in law", "nipple shield", and some talk about the parade on Monday. 

I have to ask, is this normal conversations for neighbors that see each other at the park?  We're new to the whole neighborhood thing, where we moved from people didn't really talk to each other very much and there weren't a lot of kids that were C and G's age, and no park within walking distance.  This is new to me, but I really didn't imagine talking about birth control and porn.  It was great entertainment, though!  I think I'll go again tomorrow.

Do you think if they do talk to me and we become friends and they read this someday that they'll be mad?  I guess I should apologize in advance to them.  Sorry.