They Want For Nothing

This past week I was at Target shopping for a friends daughters birthday gift.  While I was perusing the kitchen aisles (for me, not the five year old) I ran into a former coworker... I'll call her SB (and no, shockingly enough that does not stand for son of a bitch).  Here's how it went down:

Me: Hi SB!

SB: (Uncomfortable smile like she didn't know who I was) Oh...hi.

Me: (Continue to shop because clearly she doesn't remember me)

SB: So, how are your kids doing? 

Me: (Shocked because she remembered me)  They're good, how is E doing?

SB: Oh, E is WONDERFUL!  She's four and a half now, she's the joy of our lives.  She goes to the very prestigious preschool nearby.  She's amazingly smart.  I spent a lot of time cultivating her love for reading.

Me: Neat.

SB: (Eyes the toys in my cart) Are you shopping for your kids?  We're shopping for the family we adopted for Christmas.  It's so important to teach E the importance of giving.

Me: Wow, that's so admirable of you (gag me with a spoon).  I'm actually shopping for a birthday gift for a friends daughter.

SB:  I hate when people buy gifts for E.  We want for nothing.

She actually said "We want for nothing".  Can you believe that?!?  I honestly didn't know what to say!  I mumbled something and quickly got away from SB, her dork ass husband and sweet little E.

A few hours minutes later I was looking at an Us magazine and not paying attention to which checkout line I was in when I realized I was right behind SB.  Crap.  We made more horribly awkward small talk.  Then, coming from the back of the store I started to hear the ear piercing screams of an over the top tantrum.

Me: My kids would never pull that in public.

SB: Ummm... I think that's E.  She's been making poor choices today, right now she's choosing to not leave the store.

SB gathered her bags and met her nerd husband in front of the exit door.  E was laying on the floor, face down, legs kicking.  SB leaned over and spoke softly to her darling little E about making the right choice and getting up off of the floor.  She didn't.  I stepped over E and smiled sweetly at SB as I left the store.

"Good luck with that", I said.

I guess they do want for something.  Manners.... and maybe a spanking.

Tramp Dusting

Pop quiz!  What's worse than stepping in dog poop while trying to get the dog untangled from your swing set??  Getting the poop ON YOUR HANDS.  I can't even tell you.  Number one, the dog is eight years old and we've had the swing set for a solid four years...and yet....she still manages to get herself wound so tightly around the slide that she's choking herself.  It's so cold out (which in itself pisses me off) and I have to go traipsing through the yard to get her.  Add to that feces on your hands and you've got yourself a hell of a Thursday.

This could be the worst segue ever, but...

Have I ever told you how much I despise cooking dinner?  Well I do.  It's not so much the cooking of the dinner, but the planning that goes into it.  D has been home in the evenings and did a beautiful job of grocery shopping for the week and planning all the meals.  Tonight he's out of town, and while I know exactly what there is to cook for dinner tonight (because he left me a note), I'm taking the kids to Wendy's.  Whatever.  I had poop on my hands, I can't cook for at least 36 hours.  That's a rule, right??  While D's gone I'm trying to get the house cleaned, sometimes it's just easier when he isn't here.  The girls have started showing interest in helping me clean, so I gave them each a dusting rag and sprayed them (not in the face) with dusting spray and let them go to town.  They are both currently jumping on the mini trampoline in the living room and telling me how much fun dusting is.  They're obviously confused, I usually don't jump on the mini-tramp when I dust.  Usually.

Last weekend we had a lovely dinner with old friends, E and F the newlyweds, and R and J the non-marrieds.  We had a really fun time with a smidge too much wine, but it was so nice being out with old friends.  Apologies to the staff at the restaurant...  It kind of turned into a disaster, but boy was it fun!

We had our first ever parent teacher conferences this week for C.  It was so exciting!  We were running about two minutes late and I was screaming at D to "RUN FASTER!!!" through the parking lot.  Our faces were all red when we got into her classroom and I noticed that D had a little snot coming out of his nose because it was so cold, her teacher must have thought we were real winners.  But it didn't matter because C is a fabulous student who is very kind to everyone in the class and a joy to have around, and that's all we wanted to hear!

Last but not least..... I GOT MY HAIR CUT!  I cut about six inches off on Tuesday, I'm still getting used to it but I really like it so far.  I went to the most relaxing place on earth, and as usual I wasn't disappointed.

Happy Thursday and Poop-Free Hand Wishes,
K

Holla-ween!

Holla!  It's the Halloween post!  The girls were the cutest ice cream cones EVER!  My mom and I made the costumes, I found my inspiration here, but changed it to make it more comfy... and cuter!

The cone sisters

G wanted to be chocolate ice cream.  I couldn't make that happen, but she still told people she was chocolate.  People were confused.  Good times.




The chocolate cone

C wanted to be strawberry but understood that she wasn't... unlike her sister.

The non-strawberry cone

Discussing the best route to take

She hadn't even had any candy yet.  Scary.

C took her swirls off, they were sliding down her butt which made candy collecting too difficult.  Obviously this was unacceptable.



Grandpa came with us, in Daddy's absence.  He was the umbrella carrier.

G and Grandpa sorting her candy.  Yes, I have a blue door.  Go ahead and judge.

The Rundown: Thursday Edition

I swear to you, I could murder the iPad some days.  I wrote this whole long nice post yesterday, and even checked my spelling which is rare, and clicked the little publish button and....nothing.  It lost the post.  So annoying.  Anywho, I've decided that the best way for me to blog is to not compose something that is one coherent thought in paragraph form.  I'm going to give you what's on my mind, short and sweet in list form.  Here you go...

1.  I had a great meeting with my advisor yesterday.  He told me that if I petition to get out of Hungarian 104 then I can graduate after fall quarter.  If not, I'm screwed.  Well, he didn't say 'You're screwed', but he should have.  Basically XXX University is switching from quarters to semesters beginning next fall and they're going to convert all the hours I have (if I'm still there and don't graduate after summer quarter) from quarter hours to semester hours and he pretty much told me that I'll lose hours and have to take more classes.  NOOOOO!  I can't let this happen.  So I'm going to petition to get out of Hungarian 104 because it's not offered in the summer, only in the fall, which will be bad.  I'm just going to look at them and say "Beszelek nagyon jól magarul!".  See if you can figure that one out.

2.  D has been gone at training for two weeks and he comes home today, the girls and I are so excited!  Today as I was dropping C off at school she hopped out of the car and said "Mrs. M, my daddy comes  home today!!!"  I almost cried, it was so sweet!  All of her teachers know what's going on with the deployment and where D has been for the last two weeks, so Mrs. M was really excited for her and gave her a big high five.  So cute!

3.  I'm 30 years old and had to purchase teenage girl face scrub for zits.  I swear the bottle says 'Boys and parents stressing you out?'  Nope, just the universe playing a cruel joke on me.  (And this started before #5 happened... don't jump to conclusions.)

4.  I'm on the bone marrow donor registry (as everyone should be, click the link and do the right thing) and every few days they send me an email.  Every damn time I see the email address in my inbox I have a minor heart attack thinking that I'm a match.  I run through this wild scenario of rushing to the hospital and figuring out who's going to take care of the kids while I'm gone.  But it's just a friendly message, usually to remind me to take calcium supplements or something.  So stressful, though.

5.  Halloween.  I feel like I at least need to acknowledge it on the blog.  At some point I'll actually post pictures and all that, but in the mean time..... Halloween, we had it.  It was fun.  The girls were adorable.  In the evenings I've been making myself sick enjoying a candy or two (or twelve) with a glass of wine.  I need to find an organization that takes candy donations for the troops.  Either that or I need to just head to the mall and buy some new jeans about two sizes bigger than I am now to prepare for what's to come.

6.  Halloween candy + wine = tums.

7.  I'm addicted to ESPN radio.  I don't know why I started listening to it, but I did and now I can't stop.  I can tell you anything about any NFL game that's coming up. I can tell you how Suh's meeting with Roger Goodell went yesterday, I can tell you that Theo Epstein is looking at Francona for Cubs manager, I can talk about Manning possibly being traded by the Colts so they can pick up Andrew Luck in the draft....  I know too much, I feel like I'm breaking some kind of girl-code.  And I love it.