No seriously, I will.
After the old computer drank the wine and I got the new one up and running D and the girls and I were all ready for some good old fashioned family Skyping. Skype was working great on the old-new computer, we tested it out before he left, so it should work right on the NEW-new computer, right?
Wrong.
I get a stupid Windows error message every time I log in, and then the system closes. Every time it happens I get all worked up and mad and end up eating a bunch of chocolate covered cherries. Not cool, Skype. Not cool. I decided today was the day that we figure out why my computer and Skype are fighting.
I have a membership to a super secret members only technology club (called AT&T tech support) so I called them. They took remote access of my computer, and probably stole all of my bank account numbers, and worked on it for two and a half hours. They ran every scan known to man and they say my computer is good to go, it's a Skype issue.
I sort of find this hard to believe because it worked on the exact same wine computer, but whatev. I actually felt bad for Gil, the AT&T guy. The conversation (via online chat) went something like this:
Me- Thanks for spending so much time working on it.
Gil- I'm so sorry I've failed you, Mrs B.
Me- It's ok, I'll take it up with Skype I guess.
Gil- We tried our hardest and failed.
Me- Seriously, thanks for spending so much time on it, I really appreciate it. It's going to be ok.
Gil- Sometimes even when we do all we can, we still are failures.
Me- For real, Gil. Thanks. Please don't hurt yourself.
So after I talked Gil down off the ledge I went on and downloaded an older version of Skype that appears to be working. If not, you'll hear my screams of aggravation later when D and I try to Skype.
On a lighter note, tomorrow marks one week since D left. Every week that he's away is one week closer to coming home, so I'm happy to mark another day off of the calendar! Bring on Tuesday!
Seriously, though, Skype really needs to work. Enough is enough.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Let's Bring This Up To Date, Shall We?
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, blah blah blah blahhhhhhhh.
It's been far too long since I've blogged, I missed Christmas and New Years and here we are, well into January. Let's just say I've been a bit, um...busy. Here's a little taste of what's been happening in my life the past month.
1. School. Going into finals I was sitting with a D average in one class and pretty sure I was going to do about the same in my *&%$ foreign language, too. I had a FIFTEEN PAGE paper to write (I'm not as young as I used to be and those papers don't come flying out of my ass like they used to) and finals to take. I asked for an extension on my paper and got it, I didn't have to turn in my paper until after the final. Yay for me. Then came the day of my finals and......
2. The car accident. See below.
On my way to take my finals a Russian mail order bride smashed into me and ripped my engine in half. The car was totaled and I had to go to the hospital for xrays and stuff. So we were down a car and I had a sprained wrist and burns from the airbag, and I had to reschedule all of my finals. I'm soooo glad I didn't have the girls with me, I would have had to throw down with the Russian. I did end up the quarter with A's and B's, though, so I'm happy with that.
3. Christmas, and all that goes along with it. It was a great Christmas, I have zero pictures because I needed a new camera and refused to continue taking crappy pictures with my old one. I really showed the old camera who's boss, it sat on my desk and I have no photos. Fail. We all got everything we wanted and more, although I'm pretty peeved that C tells everyone her favorite gift was the teddy bear. Of course this bear was an afterthought and cost me $4 at Target two days before Christmas. Of course her favorite gift wouldn't be the beyond expensive American Girl doll (with accessories) that she asked for for months. But whatever, Merry Christmas and enjoy your $4 bear. I got my new camera, tons of shoes (all of which I needed...ish), a new laptop and much more. We were very blessed.
4. NYE. Every year we have a princess party for the kids on NYE. We started this tradition three or four years ago when we realized that we coulnd't find a babysitter and it would probably be years before we could go out and party again, we might as well have some fun with the kids. The king (D) makes a delicious fancy dinner (fish sticks and peas, gag) for the princesses while the queen (me) helps them get dressed and puts makeup on them... this is a huge deal. Then I announce their presence to the king and he serves them a candlelit dinner with milk in wine glasses. It's very fancy. After they go to bed we make a really good dinner for ourselves and watch a movie (think Super Troopers) then watch the ball drop.
This year was a little bit different, though. We did the princess stuff for the kids, but niether one of us was much in the spirit of celebrating because....
5. We started the deployment. A couple of days after our NYE celebration D left. Needless to say, it was a very hard day filled with many tears. He'll come home on leave at some point, but won't be home for good until this time next year. We've had a tough week, some days are better than others, and some minutes are better than others. This is not our first deployment as a married couple, but our first since we've had kids. It's a very different experience with the kids, not harder or easier, but different. We're making it through, though.
The night he left I was so tired, I didn't sleep at all the night before and had cried off and on all day, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I poured myself a nice healthy glass of red wine and sat down on the couch with my brand new laptop. You see where this is going.
6. The laptop drank the wine. It was ruined. I was hysterical. D was on a layover and I was able to text him and tell him what happened, I think I managed to accurately portray my hysterics in the texts because he texted back with "Love you, don't stress. Buy a new one right now, I don't care how much it is." This is not a phrase normally uttered by a husband, 'Buy a new one right now, I don't care how much it is', and I didn't ask questions. I ordered a new one immediately and it was shipped next day and I'm typing on it now. There will be no liquids within a ten foot radius of the laptop at all times.
That brings me to today. My friends and family have been amazing this week. My bestie R came over the day that D left (which was her birthday) with wine, Oreos and kleenex. You really can't ask for more than that. I can't thank her enough for giving up her birthday to cry with me. My parents and R have watched the girls about a million times in the last five days, my neighbors have brought us dinner and a coconut cream pie- holla!, and taken my trash to the curb on trash day, and my good friend B had us over for a playdate and dinner last night. I'm very lucky to have a great support system, something that many people don't have.
I'm going to try really hard to keep up with my blogging this year. I've really slacked the last couple of months and I need to keep it going, it keeps me sane and I need an outlet for my bitterness and sarcasm. I'm not going to post my blog entries to facebook anymore because I don't want everyone in the facebook friend world knowing what's up with my business (pronounced bidness) so you'll have to take it upon yourself to get off your lazy butt and read without me spoonfeeding it to you. Sorry.
Peace out, and happy Saturday. Now let's watch some NFL.
It's been far too long since I've blogged, I missed Christmas and New Years and here we are, well into January. Let's just say I've been a bit, um...busy. Here's a little taste of what's been happening in my life the past month.
1. School. Going into finals I was sitting with a D average in one class and pretty sure I was going to do about the same in my *&%$ foreign language, too. I had a FIFTEEN PAGE paper to write (I'm not as young as I used to be and those papers don't come flying out of my ass like they used to) and finals to take. I asked for an extension on my paper and got it, I didn't have to turn in my paper until after the final. Yay for me. Then came the day of my finals and......
2. The car accident. See below.
 |
| Just FYI, my car is the one that isn't the Mercedes SUV. In case you were wondering. |
On my way to take my finals a Russian mail order bride smashed into me and ripped my engine in half. The car was totaled and I had to go to the hospital for xrays and stuff. So we were down a car and I had a sprained wrist and burns from the airbag, and I had to reschedule all of my finals. I'm soooo glad I didn't have the girls with me, I would have had to throw down with the Russian. I did end up the quarter with A's and B's, though, so I'm happy with that.
3. Christmas, and all that goes along with it. It was a great Christmas, I have zero pictures because I needed a new camera and refused to continue taking crappy pictures with my old one. I really showed the old camera who's boss, it sat on my desk and I have no photos. Fail. We all got everything we wanted and more, although I'm pretty peeved that C tells everyone her favorite gift was the teddy bear. Of course this bear was an afterthought and cost me $4 at Target two days before Christmas. Of course her favorite gift wouldn't be the beyond expensive American Girl doll (with accessories) that she asked for for months. But whatever, Merry Christmas and enjoy your $4 bear. I got my new camera, tons of shoes (all of which I needed...ish), a new laptop and much more. We were very blessed.
4. NYE. Every year we have a princess party for the kids on NYE. We started this tradition three or four years ago when we realized that we coulnd't find a babysitter and it would probably be years before we could go out and party again, we might as well have some fun with the kids. The king (D) makes a delicious fancy dinner (fish sticks and peas, gag) for the princesses while the queen (me) helps them get dressed and puts makeup on them... this is a huge deal. Then I announce their presence to the king and he serves them a candlelit dinner with milk in wine glasses. It's very fancy. After they go to bed we make a really good dinner for ourselves and watch a movie (think Super Troopers) then watch the ball drop.
This year was a little bit different, though. We did the princess stuff for the kids, but niether one of us was much in the spirit of celebrating because....
5. We started the deployment. A couple of days after our NYE celebration D left. Needless to say, it was a very hard day filled with many tears. He'll come home on leave at some point, but won't be home for good until this time next year. We've had a tough week, some days are better than others, and some minutes are better than others. This is not our first deployment as a married couple, but our first since we've had kids. It's a very different experience with the kids, not harder or easier, but different. We're making it through, though.
The night he left I was so tired, I didn't sleep at all the night before and had cried off and on all day, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I poured myself a nice healthy glass of red wine and sat down on the couch with my brand new laptop. You see where this is going.
6. The laptop drank the wine. It was ruined. I was hysterical. D was on a layover and I was able to text him and tell him what happened, I think I managed to accurately portray my hysterics in the texts because he texted back with "Love you, don't stress. Buy a new one right now, I don't care how much it is." This is not a phrase normally uttered by a husband, 'Buy a new one right now, I don't care how much it is', and I didn't ask questions. I ordered a new one immediately and it was shipped next day and I'm typing on it now. There will be no liquids within a ten foot radius of the laptop at all times.
That brings me to today. My friends and family have been amazing this week. My bestie R came over the day that D left (which was her birthday) with wine, Oreos and kleenex. You really can't ask for more than that. I can't thank her enough for giving up her birthday to cry with me. My parents and R have watched the girls about a million times in the last five days, my neighbors have brought us dinner and a coconut cream pie- holla!, and taken my trash to the curb on trash day, and my good friend B had us over for a playdate and dinner last night. I'm very lucky to have a great support system, something that many people don't have.
I'm going to try really hard to keep up with my blogging this year. I've really slacked the last couple of months and I need to keep it going, it keeps me sane and I need an outlet for my bitterness and sarcasm. I'm not going to post my blog entries to facebook anymore because I don't want everyone in the facebook friend world knowing what's up with my business (pronounced bidness) so you'll have to take it upon yourself to get off your lazy butt and read without me spoonfeeding it to you. Sorry.
Peace out, and happy Saturday. Now let's watch some NFL.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Christmas Card Public Service Announcement
I have an announcement to make:
I had to get that off my chest. I don't have time to do it, I feel bad about it but whatever. I just can't do it this year. I'm supposed to be studying and paper writing right now (which I am) but I kept hearing this little voice....
....when are you going to do the cards?
....what picture will you use?
....you'll have to take them to the post office because our mail man is the walking kind of mail man and it would be mean to give him 100 cards to stick in his mail pouch for his long walk.
....what are you going to put on the cards? Merry Christmas from the B's, don't forget D is going to have rockets shot at his face this year, so let's all wish him well.
So there you go, no cards.
But still send them to me because I like putting them on my fridge and counting how many friends I have. Shout out SN for being the first one on my fridge! Holla!
I WILL NOT BE SENDING OUT CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR.
I had to get that off my chest. I don't have time to do it, I feel bad about it but whatever. I just can't do it this year. I'm supposed to be studying and paper writing right now (which I am) but I kept hearing this little voice....
....when are you going to do the cards?
....what picture will you use?
....you'll have to take them to the post office because our mail man is the walking kind of mail man and it would be mean to give him 100 cards to stick in his mail pouch for his long walk.
....what are you going to put on the cards? Merry Christmas from the B's, don't forget D is going to have rockets shot at his face this year, so let's all wish him well.
So there you go, no cards.
But still send them to me because I like putting them on my fridge and counting how many friends I have. Shout out SN for being the first one on my fridge! Holla!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
They Want For Nothing
This past week I was at Target shopping for a friends daughters birthday gift. While I was perusing the kitchen aisles (for me, not the five year old) I ran into a former coworker... I'll call her SB (and no, shockingly enough that does not stand for son of a bitch). Here's how it went down:
Me: Hi SB!
SB: (Uncomfortable smile like she didn't know who I was) Oh...hi.
Me: (Continue to shop because clearly she doesn't remember me)
SB: So, how are your kids doing?
Me: (Shocked because she remembered me) They're good, how is E doing?
SB: Oh, E is WONDERFUL! She's four and a half now, she's the joy of our lives. She goes to the very prestigious preschool nearby. She's amazingly smart. I spent a lot of time cultivating her love for reading.
Me: Neat.
SB: (Eyes the toys in my cart) Are you shopping for your kids? We're shopping for the family we adopted for Christmas. It's so important to teach E the importance of giving.
Me: Wow, that's so admirable of you (gag me with a spoon). I'm actually shopping for a birthday gift for a friends daughter.
SB: I hate when people buy gifts for E. We want for nothing.
She actually said "We want for nothing". Can you believe that?!? I honestly didn't know what to say! I mumbled something and quickly got away from SB, her dork ass husband and sweet little E.
A fewhours minutes later I was looking at an Us magazine and not paying attention to which checkout line I was in when I realized I was right behind SB. Crap. We made more horribly awkward small talk. Then, coming from the back of the store I started to hear the ear piercing screams of an over the top tantrum.
Me: My kids would never pull that in public.
SB: Ummm... I think that's E. She's been making poor choices today, right now she's choosing to not leave the store.
SB gathered her bags and met her nerd husband in front of the exit door. E was laying on the floor, face down, legs kicking. SB leaned over and spoke softly to her darling little E about making the right choice and getting up off of the floor. She didn't. I stepped over E and smiled sweetly at SB as I left the store.
"Good luck with that", I said.
I guess they do want for something. Manners.... and maybe a spanking.
Me: Hi SB!
SB: (Uncomfortable smile like she didn't know who I was) Oh...hi.
Me: (Continue to shop because clearly she doesn't remember me)
SB: So, how are your kids doing?
Me: (Shocked because she remembered me) They're good, how is E doing?
SB: Oh, E is WONDERFUL! She's four and a half now, she's the joy of our lives. She goes to the very prestigious preschool nearby. She's amazingly smart. I spent a lot of time cultivating her love for reading.
Me: Neat.
SB: (Eyes the toys in my cart) Are you shopping for your kids? We're shopping for the family we adopted for Christmas. It's so important to teach E the importance of giving.
Me: Wow, that's so admirable of you (gag me with a spoon). I'm actually shopping for a birthday gift for a friends daughter.
SB: I hate when people buy gifts for E. We want for nothing.
She actually said "We want for nothing". Can you believe that?!? I honestly didn't know what to say! I mumbled something and quickly got away from SB, her dork ass husband and sweet little E.
A few
Me: My kids would never pull that in public.
SB: Ummm... I think that's E. She's been making poor choices today, right now she's choosing to not leave the store.
SB gathered her bags and met her nerd husband in front of the exit door. E was laying on the floor, face down, legs kicking. SB leaned over and spoke softly to her darling little E about making the right choice and getting up off of the floor. She didn't. I stepped over E and smiled sweetly at SB as I left the store.
"Good luck with that", I said.
I guess they do want for something. Manners.... and maybe a spanking.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tramp Dusting
Pop quiz! What's worse than stepping in dog poop while trying to get the dog untangled from your swing set?? Getting the poop ON YOUR HANDS. I can't even tell you. Number one, the dog is eight years old and we've had the swing set for a solid four years...and yet....she still manages to get herself wound so tightly around the slide that she's choking herself. It's so cold out (which in itself pisses me off) and I have to go traipsing through the yard to get her. Add to that feces on your hands and you've got yourself a hell of a Thursday.
This could be the worst segue ever, but...
Have I ever told you how much I despise cooking dinner? Well I do. It's not so much the cooking of the dinner, but the planning that goes into it. D has been home in the evenings and did a beautiful job of grocery shopping for the week and planning all the meals. Tonight he's out of town, and while I know exactly what there is to cook for dinner tonight (because he left me a note), I'm taking the kids to Wendy's. Whatever. I had poop on my hands, I can't cook for at least 36 hours. That's a rule, right?? While D's gone I'm trying to get the house cleaned, sometimes it's just easier when he isn't here. The girls have started showing interest in helping me clean, so I gave them each a dusting rag and sprayed them (not in the face) with dusting spray and let them go to town. They are both currently jumping on the mini trampoline in the living room and telling me how much fun dusting is. They're obviously confused, I usually don't jump on the mini-tramp when I dust. Usually.
Last weekend we had a lovely dinner with old friends, E and F the newlyweds, and R and J the non-marrieds. We had a really fun time with a smidge too much wine, but it was so nice being out with old friends. Apologies to the staff at the restaurant... It kind of turned into a disaster, but boy was it fun!
We had our first ever parent teacher conferences this week for C. It was so exciting! We were running about two minutes late and I was screaming at D to "RUN FASTER!!!" through the parking lot. Our faces were all red when we got into her classroom and I noticed that D had a little snot coming out of his nose because it was so cold, her teacher must have thought we were real winners. But it didn't matter because C is a fabulous student who is very kind to everyone in the class and a joy to have around, and that's all we wanted to hear!
Last but not least..... I GOT MY HAIR CUT! I cut about six inches off on Tuesday, I'm still getting used to it but I really like it so far. I went to the most relaxing place on earth, and as usual I wasn't disappointed.
Happy Thursday and Poop-Free Hand Wishes,
K
This could be the worst segue ever, but...
Have I ever told you how much I despise cooking dinner? Well I do. It's not so much the cooking of the dinner, but the planning that goes into it. D has been home in the evenings and did a beautiful job of grocery shopping for the week and planning all the meals. Tonight he's out of town, and while I know exactly what there is to cook for dinner tonight (because he left me a note), I'm taking the kids to Wendy's. Whatever. I had poop on my hands, I can't cook for at least 36 hours. That's a rule, right?? While D's gone I'm trying to get the house cleaned, sometimes it's just easier when he isn't here. The girls have started showing interest in helping me clean, so I gave them each a dusting rag and sprayed them (not in the face) with dusting spray and let them go to town. They are both currently jumping on the mini trampoline in the living room and telling me how much fun dusting is. They're obviously confused, I usually don't jump on the mini-tramp when I dust. Usually.
Last weekend we had a lovely dinner with old friends, E and F the newlyweds, and R and J the non-marrieds. We had a really fun time with a smidge too much wine, but it was so nice being out with old friends. Apologies to the staff at the restaurant... It kind of turned into a disaster, but boy was it fun!
We had our first ever parent teacher conferences this week for C. It was so exciting! We were running about two minutes late and I was screaming at D to "RUN FASTER!!!" through the parking lot. Our faces were all red when we got into her classroom and I noticed that D had a little snot coming out of his nose because it was so cold, her teacher must have thought we were real winners. But it didn't matter because C is a fabulous student who is very kind to everyone in the class and a joy to have around, and that's all we wanted to hear!
Last but not least..... I GOT MY HAIR CUT! I cut about six inches off on Tuesday, I'm still getting used to it but I really like it so far. I went to the most relaxing place on earth, and as usual I wasn't disappointed.
Happy Thursday and Poop-Free Hand Wishes,
K
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