Friday Confessional

It's that time again!  Dun dun dunnn, the Friday confessional!  One rule- no judging me (especially the first one, it's a bad one).

I Confess: There is a girl in one of my classes and she looked soooo familiar but I couldn't place her.  And then it hit me.  She was on season 2 of 16 and Pregnant on MTV!!  I almost DIED!  I'm not going to be able to stop staring at her for the rest of the quarter.  I want to be her friend so I can be on the "where are they now" show.  As soon as class was over I called my trashy tv addict bestie R but she wasn't answering and I had to tell someone so I called D.  He was at work and didn't find it as shocking or amusing as I did, I believe he used the word "disturbing" to describe the phone call.  Whatevs.

I Confess: The people that work at the Disney store are so bizarre, I went in there yesterday to get a beach towel for G and the man child that worked there called me a princess.  Ick.

I Confess: We're leaving for the beach tonight (minus D who has to work) and this morning I walked in to the girls room as they were waking up and the first thing C said to me was, "Vacation today, holla!"  Where does she learn this stuff?  I don't say holla... that much.

I Confess: I think that C is going to be a really good artist, and I'm not saying that because I'm her mother.  She's really creative and the things that she draws are so funny.  You know how last week I told you that I'm obsessed with Jeni's?  Look what she drew for me (and cut out and taped to the fridge) this week:

Click on it to see where the design came from

I Confess: I've been up since 5am for no reason.  G woke up because her hand fell asleep and I think she accidentally punched herself in the face with it, and I couldn't get back to sleep.  Soooo, I watched this week's Housewives of NY aaaand Unseen moments from OC aaaand Million Dollar Decorators all before everyone got up this morning.  With all of my homework I think I'm going to have to get up at 5:00 every morning to get my Bravo fix.

I Confess: I almost bought a $150 dual dvd player for the car yesterday, but instead I bought a mount for the single portable one we already have and it only cost me $31.  Hollaaaaa!

College, Day 1

i.am.exhausted.

No capitals, that's how tired I am.  Today was my first day back to school and I'm thinking that with all of the walking and lack of time to eat I'll loose about 100 lbs this quarter.*  Approximately.  It was a great day and I think I'm going to like all of my classes.  One of the TA's brought donuts and the other said he'll bring them on Wednesday (after checking that none of us have nut allergies- he gets bonus points for that, the other girl could have killed someone with her peanut encrusted goodies today), so if that's a sign of how the quarter is going to unfold, it can't be bad, right?

Some observations that I have from my first day as a 29 year old college student:

1. Someone needs to teach young girls that using a colored pen (specifically purple or orange, both of which I saw today) makes you look stupid.  I'm going to assume you're stupid if you use a purple pen, that's just the way it is.

2. Someone needs to send the weather guys at NBC 4 back to school for a few classes on, oh, I don't know... PREDICTING THE WEATHER!  When they told me it would be 86 degrees today I dressed accordingly.  When it was 72 and rainy I froze my ass off.  Thanks a lot weather guys.

I'll have more observations to share with you as the days go on, but that's all for today.

The girls did well today.  C kind of freaked out when she got up and learned that I was "gone at college" because her reference to going to college is Andy in Toy Story 3 when he leaves all of his toys behind.  She was panicked.  D did his best to explain that I would be home and hadn't left them all behind, and this was further reinforced when I called her to say that I would be home after naps.  She was okay with that.

The best part of my day first day at school was the smiling and waving little faces as I pulled in the driveway... and this:

*I didn't eat the donuts, I don't take donuts from strangers.

Friday Confessional

I'm all about confession, just not at church.  It's just not my thing.  Sorry, Jesus.

I Confess: I have an unhealthy obsession with Jeni's Ice Cream.  We go there waaaaay more than we should and I just got her new book in the mail this week (if D asks I definitely did did not pay $35). 

I Confess: After I'm done with this confession I'm going to buy an ice cream maker. 

I Confess: My children listen to adult music with me in the car... and I use the term adult loosely.  They're five and two, they totally don't understand the words.  I mean, I'm not playing Cee Lo's F You or anything like that, but a little Britney and Snoop never hurt anyone, right?  Seriously I can only listen to so much Laurie Berkner band.

I Confess: I'm going back to school full time on Monday.  Like this coming Monday, in three days.  Ahhhhh!

I Confess: I have no clue what I'm going to do with C and G when I go back to school... in three days.  I know it will work itself out and we'll figure it out.  It's so important for me to finish my degree and I'm like six quarters away.  We'll figure it out.  The TA's will be totally down with me bringing my kids to class, right?

I Confess: I really want an electric pencil sharpener but it's something I'm not willing to spend D's hard earned money on.  I just don't think he would appreciate it as much as I would.

Happy Confessional Friday!

Fat Day Ramblings

Today is a fat day- none of my clothes feel right and I'm feeling gross.  I'm not really in the mood to think of a nicely flowing blog post, so I'm just going to post some observations from today.

1. If you wash your hair with conditioner only, it will be greasy.  This could be part of why I feel so gross today.  I realised after I got in the shower that we were completely out of shampoo- even kid shampoo, so conditioner it was.  D couldn't believe that I didn't use soap instead.  Live and learn.

2. If I punish C with a nap she will thank me later and ask for another one tomorrow.  C's behavior was atrocious last night at bed time (screaming and crying for no reason for almost an hour and a half- she broke blood vessels in her face, I'm not even kidding) and her punishment today was no slip-and-slide (also convenient because it was 60 degrees) and she had to take a nap.  Usually she takes a "rest" in my room consisting of coloring and reading and doing whatever she wants as long as she leaves me alone, but today she actually had to nap.  When G woke up from her daily nap I woke C up.  She thanked me for the nap and asked if she can do it again tomorrow.  Punishment fail.

3. Kohl's thinks that an $18 item and $20 item are an even exchange.  Works for me, thank you very much!

4. I could totally be a wedding planner.  We ate dinner at Panera today (feeling fat = salad for dinner) and sat in a booth behind a couple that was having their first meeting with a wedding planner.  This girl was so full of BS.  She was basically telling them how to have the most generic wedding ever.  D and I were totally enthralled in their conversation, choosing to listen to them rather than talk to each other or our children.  At one point they said that they have a friend who is a chef and wanted to make the food for their rehearsal dinner as a gift.  Very generous.  This wedding planner joker tried to talk them out of it!  She said it would be way nicer to do a buffet somewhere.  D and I were mortified.

5.  Does anyone shop at Ethan Allen?  There is a huge EA store right down the street from us that has been there for years and I've never seen a single car there, ever.  Odd.

6.  AT&T cable boxes respond favorably to under-your-breath cursing.  Today I was watching a Jersey show... again.  stop judging me.... and right in the middle a message pops up that's all, "I'm sorry, you don't have this show recorded on your dvr."  I immediate start throwing up some big time angry curses super quietly under my breath (kids were sleeping) and it started playing the Jersey show like nothing ever happened.  Yeah, cable.  That's what's up.

7.  Ne-Yo and Usher have the exact same voice.  High pitched and lovely.

That is all for today.  Fatty out.

Cocktail Time

I'm trying really hard not to get mad.  For the third time in two weeks our cable in the family room isn't working.  I just called AT&T and talked to a very nice man who is sending a tech out tomorrow, but until then I'm SOL. 

Now, I know this is going to be really hard for you all to believe, but I'm a tv junkie, specifically reality TV.  So on top of the cable not working at all, I'm losing all the shows I have saved on my dvr.  For the THIRD TIME!  The first time we lost Monsters, Inc and Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue (for the girls), some Bourdain and Anthony Zimmern (for D), a bunch of shows about people from New Jersey (for me)... and there was one more thing...hmmm....what was it....oh yeah, the freaking ROYAL WEDDING!  All gone. 

The second and third times we lost a couple episodes of Diego, which is the only thing that calms G down after she falls and scrapes her knee all the time.  Also lost: more shows about New Jersey people (Real Housewives, Jerseylicious, Mob Wives), not to mention shows about other people (of New York and Orange County). Seriously, this is what I'm doing right now...

It's cocktail time.

Big Things!

There are big things happening here.

I got big earrings!  This may not be a big deal to you, but this is my first pair of statement earrings and I'm super pumped.  The girls and I went to Stein Mart (because that's where all the cool people shop) to look for a sweet tie for D for Father's Day (because all dad's want a tie from Stein Mart) and I happened to spot these beauties:

Look at the earrings, not the vacuum cleaner.

Actually, C spotted them and she insisted that they I look at them, and "Mom, they're only seven  nine nine!"  She had me at seven nine nine.  I can do anything for $7.99!  So now they're mine and I wore them while I did housework to make me feel like Beyonce.

This is totally what I looked like.

C got a little camera happy after I asked her to take a picture of my earrings.  Someone came to the door and I came back to find these pics on my camera:

Interesting pic of the messy office/playroom

Bag hanging on the hall closet door

Tape

Wine In The Playroom

This is totally normal, right?

The New Look

As you may have noticed, I've changed things around on the blog.... and if you didn't notice, I guess the old layout was crappy anyway.  I like the new layout because this blog has nothing to do with food and the background is silverware.  Perfect!

C's Haircut

C got her hair cut at Cut Color Style with Beth yesterday and it was great!  Beth was really nice and treated C like a big girl, which she loved.  C knew that she wanted it cut short and Beth took the time to ask her if it was short enough for her (which it wasn't) and C was able to have a lot of input into her cut.

Before picture:

Not the best picture, but you get the idea: long hair.  Don't judge me for being at McDonald's, she's drinking milk.

After picture:

She's thrilled!

She said, "Dad isn't going to know who I am!"  He did recognize her, so it was fine.  I love her hair, but most importantly, she loves her hair.

I Swear This Is A True Story

This morning I took the kids to the park down the street.  This is so bizarre, but it's the first time that I've taken them to this park by myself, D has always gone with us.  Anyway, I take them down there and there are five other moms with bunches of kids, two dads with some kids, and a grandma with a kid that looked way to old for her to be treating him like a toddler and holding him on the slide.  No one talked to me, so I immediately have a chip on my shoulder that will no doubt cloud my judgement for the rest of this post.... be forewarned.

One of the moms had four kids with her, two of them were strapped into a stroller the whole time and she didn't let them out to play... and they were fine with it.  Were they doped up on Benadryl?  Perhaps.  She was there with two other moms that were sisters- I think- and had way too many kids between the two of them.

One dad had dreads and was not spoken to- much like myself.  He seemed nice.

The other dad looked wise beyond his years with salt and pepper hair and leather Teva's, but when I heard him talk I knew that he was not, in fact, wise.

The other two moms were loud mouths (I'll call them loud mom #1 and 2 from here on), they liked to hear themselves talk (but not to me).

Now to the good stuff.  The loud mouths and the wise dad had a lot to talk about and it made for some really good listening.  The first thing I learned about loud mom #1 was that she was conceived because her mom's diaphragm had so many holes in it it could have been a colander.  Can you imagine!?  Oh oh oh, and that there hasn't been a planned pregnancy in her family for generations.  !!!! 

At this point I took out my phone and started taking notes. 

Loud mom #2 said that her mom was on birth control when she was conceived and the doctor told her to abort the pregnancy- obviously she didn't.   She added that in, just in case they didn't know that she was actually alive.  #2 takes pride in the fact that she's had three planned pregnancies.  Wise dad felt this would be the perfect time to chime in with the info that his son was conceived in a hot tub in Hilton Head, which could be the reason that he doesn't like to swim...?  Eeew.  They went on to talk about how True Blood is like soft porn, except not really soft, so it's just porn.

C and G decided to run to the other end of the park so I had to walk away, but I did keep hearing snippets of conversation such as "mother in law", "nipple shield", and some talk about the parade on Monday. 

I have to ask, is this normal conversations for neighbors that see each other at the park?  We're new to the whole neighborhood thing, where we moved from people didn't really talk to each other very much and there weren't a lot of kids that were C and G's age, and no park within walking distance.  This is new to me, but I really didn't imagine talking about birth control and porn.  It was great entertainment, though!  I think I'll go again tomorrow.

Do you think if they do talk to me and we become friends and they read this someday that they'll be mad?  I guess I should apologize in advance to them.  Sorry.