The usual nonsense.

I know how much you all love my random ramblings, so here's a present for you...

1. Today when I was at Kroger frantically searching for the Skinny Girl display I heard some old women telling the wine guy that they were looking for F-ing A wine.  They said F-ing A like 25 times before I said-- I'm sorry, are you saying EFFING A?  Yes, they said.  Ok, that's cool.

2. Yesterday I wore leggings to school because I haven't shaved my legs in approximately eight days and I had no other choice, even though it was 90 degrees.  You  could see the hair on my legs from at least six feet away, and that's not cool. 

3.  This evening I went to the tree house to get my hair busted, and I took a couple of bottles of Skinny Girl with me.  It was fun and my hair looks amazing.  Enough said. 

4. I got 100% on a midterm this week for the second time in my back-to-college career!!  I was excited about it, it's not easy to do that in a 500-level poly sci class!  I'm kind of awesome.

5. My toes have been painted two different colors for over a week.  My left foot is Essie "Go Overboard" and my right is Essie "A List".

**Note, they look WAY different in real life than on the essie site** 

Ok, so I've been rocking the two colors because I took them both to the beach for after my real pedi chipped off... which it did after about 8 minutes in the sand. I couldn't decide which color I wanted so I did one foot each color.  IT FREAKING ROCKS!!!  It seriously looks amazing, I've had so many compliments on it, I think I'm going to do two different colors forever.

6. I have three weeks before I graduate and I'm dragging ass over the finish line.  Just make it end.  Please. 



Let's talk about swimwear, shall we?

Hey y'all.  I've been busy, sorry for the lack of posts.  Tonight I'm eating pretzels with Boursin cheese and wine (I'm classy), so I thought I would blog for a bit. 
I have sort of big news that's really only big for me, but I don't care, you can read about it too.  One day last week I was perusing my usual blogs (Dottie, you need to blog soon), and I came across MODG's swimwear rant.  And it spoke to me.

I've been pretty happy with my body lately (although the wine and pretzels and cheese probably aren't helping), I definately don't look as good in the um........stomach area........as I did ten years ago, but I've had two kids.  Give me a break.  So I bought a new one piece suit this year and it's really cute.

AND I SWEAR I DIDN'T PAY THAT MUCH FOR IT!!!! (in case D is reading this)

But I wanted a two piece.  I was thinking about it, and the last time I wore a two piece was the summer after I got married.  That was eight years ago.  Really.  That's pathetic. 

So after I read MODG's post (see above), I decided that I was done feeling self conscious.  No, I don't look like I did when I was 18, I've had two 8.5lb babies that gave me tiger stripe stretch marks all over my stomach, but I feel good about where I am.  I don't want to teach my girls that they should be ashamed about their body because someone might look at their *percieved* imperfections.  I'm me because I like to eat ice cream and drink wine and I've been a house to two baby girls.  So sue me.

I'll be wearing a two piece at the beach this year.  I'm going to have to spray tan my stomach so it doesn't blind anyone, but I'll be in the two piece.  I ordered it from J.Crew and it should be here tomorrow. Eeeeekkkkk!!!  Excited!

I SWEAR I DIDN'T PAY THAT MUCH, D, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Here's how my day went.....

I sent this email this morning, I thought I would share.  Names and identifying info have been left out, for obvious reasons...

Dear Instructor of Terrible Class,

After attending the first session yesterday of your class I promptly made an appointment with my advisor to find another class. After speaking with my advisor, she encouraged me to email both you and your department chair to share why I decided to drop your class. I have copied your department chair on this email.

My concern with you as an instructor began when you chose to teach the first class without wearing shoes or socks. Although I have had numerous instructors that were more casual, none have taken it quite to that level of unprofessionalism.

The lack of shoes and socks were not my greatest concern, however. That came when you asked who in the class is a graduating senior, I was the only one to raise my hand. You proceeded to tell me that you weren't "trying to be a dick", but that if I weren't successful in your class you would keep me from graduating.  Dear Instructor, I am well aware of the standards of this university, and am well aware of how well I must do in my classes to graduate. I am a mother of two young daughters, my husband is deployed with the Army in Afghanistan, and I have maintained a 3.6 GPA while single parenting and attending classes full time as a non-traditional student. I am not afraid of hard work. While you might have been trying not to be a "dick", your vocabulary and lack of professionalism proved otherwise.

I truly hope that you don't think that the workload in your class caused me to reconsider. I am a Political Science major, all I do is read, I was not intimidated by the amount of reading you assigned. It was your attitude and lack of professionalism that caused me to drop the class. I have never encountered an instructor such as yourself during my time at XXX University. I am quite sure that this is not the standard that our university tries to uphold.

Best,
KB

OH YES I DID.

This afternoon was total crap.

Just from 2:45 on.  What happened at 2:45??  I picked C up from school.  She's not always bad, usually she's really pleasant, but today she must have taken a nasty pill because she was walking around with a storm cloud above her head that didn't want to blow away. 

We were scheduled to skype with D at 3:15, which meant that she could go play on the playground with her friends (who she spends the entire day with) for a few minutes, but not as long as we usually do.  I informed her of this as we were walking to the playground, so it wouldn't come as a shock.  I figured she would be pleased to talk to her dad.  Wrong.

Fast forward fifteen minutes and it's time to go, I ask G to tell C that it's time to go, G runs over to her and runs back and says to me with wide eyes, "C says she doesn't care what you say."  Rude.  So I yell to C that we're leaving NOW and she needs to come on.  She drags ass over to me, walking like a snail, and refuses to hold my hand in the parking lot.  Way to show me who's boss.

After throwing one-liners at her sister and I the entire way home (G isn't fun to play with.....you don't pack me good lunches.......this car smells [and it totally doesn't!]), I sent her to her room.  She stewed in there until she heard her dad's voice and was ready to come out and talk.  After the skype session she had more nasty things to say to her sister and was sent back to her room for a good 45 minutes.  I was over her.

She was reading when I went in to tell her it was time for dinner.  She seemed better... she really fooled me.  After dinner we went to Target.  In the dollar aisle I told she and G they could get squirt bottles to spray each other with outside.  C informed me that she would be picking out a real toy in the toy aisle.  Ummm, nooooo, I didn't offer you a real toy, you can have a squirt bottle or nothing.  She bitched some more, so she got nothing.  She cried all the way through Target (five minutes, I only needed one thing) and all the way home.

When we got home I sent her to bed.  It was 6:15.  She got in her bead and screamed until she VOMITED.

Oh, hell no.

I calmly explained to her that the reason she vomited was because she was freaking her shit out and needed to calm down.  I took her vom blanket away and now she only has a sheet.  That's what happens when you give yourself the pukes.

Now she's quiet.  I don't care if she's asleep or not, I just want her to leave me alone.  She was soooo baaddddd today.  Do you ever have those days, when as soon as you see your child glare at you from across the parking lot you just know it's going to suck?  I hope I'm not the only one. 

Eight Years In A Nutshell. Happy Anniversary To Me And The D-ster!

Happy Anniversary!  Today D and I celebrated (not together, of course) eight years together.  So I thought it would be appropriate to tell you a little about us, and you know how much I love numbered lists.  Two birds with one stone...

We started dating when we were seventeen, we were seniors in high school.  I can't find a picture of us on my computer (we didn't have fancy things like digital cameras in high school), but I'll find one and add it to the post later.

We never broke up.  Ever.  You know how it is in high school, you fight and break up, get back together, break up, talk shit about the other person, date their best friend... you get the idea.  We didn't do that.  Ever.  We got along, and when we didn't get along we talked about it and worked it out.  We respected each other, and still do.

D went away to XXX University and I joined him shortly after.  We ate a lot of taco's and pancakes (okay, mostly it was me eating the pancakes), and skipped a lot of class.  I'm still paying for both- pancakes and skipping class. 

In 2001 D proposed to me... in CLEVELAND.  I'm sorry if you're from Cleveland, I don't mean to offend, but Cleveland totally sucks.  It's dirty, it's grey, it's Cleveland.  I had won an all expenses paid trip to Cleveland (by all expenses paid I mean a dinner cruise on lake... something... whatever lake Cleveland is near... and one night at a Holiday Inn Express), and D thought it would be the perfect time to propose.  It may not have been perfect, but he did it and we came home from Cleveland excited to start planning our wedding.

We didn't get married until 2004, we figured we would finish college first.  HAHAHAHA!  Funny joke.  By the time we were married we had been together almost six years.  Our wedding was really nice, but we had the worst photographer EVER!  We thought he was awesome from the fake pictures he showed us that weren't actually his work.  I didn't even get wedding pictures for almost two years!  Here's an example of our awesome wedding pictures:

This is an edited image they gave us.  You can't even see our faces.  And the color... exquisite.

Almost immediately after we were married, D deployed.  You can read about that here.  And almost immediately after he returned we got pregnant with baby C. 

Please disregard the greasy hair and puffy face.  Thanks.

Two years later we welcomed baby G, and the rest is history. 

I love this picture.

We've lived in five different places, we've welcomed two baby girls, we're on our second deployment, and we love each other unconditionally.

So Happy Anniversary, D!  Eight down, sixty to go, and I can't wait!