Friday, July 29, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me. From Me.

Welp, it's my birthday.  I'm 30.  I don't feel like doing a Confession Friday, and since this is my blog, I'm not going to. But, I will show you this....


The *&#$% project is finally complete!  What's that?  You don't have teal patio furniture?  I feel so bad for you!  Here are more pictures, because it took me 100 years in 200 degree weather and 800 cans of spray paint to finish, so you're going to look at it...







Happy birthday to me.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Being Old

I worked really hard yesterday to get all of my homework done for today so I actually have a relaxing break for about 40 minutes between classes.  What does this mean for you?  You can fill your brain with more of my useless ramblings...

Today I'm going to tell you what is different about going to school when you're 30 (on Friday, give me birthday presents, don't forget) rather than when you're 18.
1. The thought of going to a study group for 6-8 hours on a Saturday is comical.  I will actually laugh in your face if you suggest it.  My Saturday is spent doing things in my "real" life.
2. People ask me things about cleaning.  I'm not even kidding.  Today this sweet girl asked me if I knew how to get this stain out of her jeans.  Why?  Because I'm old that automatically means I know how to get stains out??  I told her how.  Sad.
3.  I've managed to bully my classmates into doing the reading for me and just telling me what it says.  I'm not 100% sure how I did this, but it worked and I'm not doing any reading for one of my classes, and their report on the reading is due to me on Thursday by 6pm.
4. I never touch the glass when entering or exiting a door.  Do you know how hard it is to keep glass clean with 60,000 people putting their grubby hands all over it?!  Well I do (see #2).
5. I have to go to the bathroom like a million times a day.  I cannot physically sit through an hour and 45 minute class without getting up at least twice. 

That's all for now, there's much more but I have to go pee.  Again.

Monday, July 25, 2011

R + Donnie = Love

Step by step, ooh baby!  That's right, it was the New Kids On The Block last night!  R and I were soooo excited, the concert was even better than when I was ten years old, probably because there was beer and I didn't have to beg my mom for a tee shirt.  They put on a great performance; the 19,990 screaming middle aged women and 10 men really loved it. 

After the concert was over we met some friends from high school, J1 and J2, for drinks.  J1 drove because R and I couldn't remember where our car was (oops), but unlike the sweet red pony with no power steering that she rocked in high school, J1 has an SUV with a third row seat, so we were good to go.  As much as we wanted to find a dirty campus bar where we could order cheap drinks and dance with frat boys, it was Sunday so we went to Applebees.  Next best thing!  We had a great time catching up, drinking fruity drinks and talking about our kids.  It's amazing how it doesn't feel like that much time has passed when you see old friends, we'll have to do it again soon (minus Applebees plus frat boys).

I forgot to mention that The Backstreet Boys were there too, here's a quick rundown on them... Nick Carter (who I like to call Nick Cannon on occasion) is still a douche, that little fella Brian is still little as hell, Howie was there with his SON (way to make me feel old, Howie), and AJ was my favorite BSB (back street boy, for you lame-o's) even though he had to wear hats in every set because he's bald.  It happens.

Nick Yucky Carter

NOW, on to the important stuff!  NKOTB!
Joey... First of all, why is his last name spelled McIntyre?  That's dumb.  He was pretty good, but he kept making this really weird face like he was trying to be really sultry or something but really he just looked confused.  I wanted to remind him of who and where he was.  He can really belt out Please Don't Go Girl, though.  Damn.  Jordan... He was the same as 1989.  Exactly.the.same.  Same hair, same super high pitched voice that almost made me uncomfortable.  He wasn't my fav.  There's something about his face that was just... odd.  His jaw maybe?  I don't know.  Moving on.  Jonathan... That poor thing, bless his heart.  He didn't want to be there, they need to send him back to the real estate company where he was working and leave him alone.  He was so shy, the camera was never directly on him and I don't even think he had a microphone.  Even when they introduced him by name they didn't put him on the big screen.  Bless his little heart.  Danny... Was he in prison?  No?  He looks like a criminal... and  not in a good way.  Donnie freaking Wahlberg.... Oh my gosh.  There are no words.  I thought R was going to rush the stage (and we were on the second level), I had to hold her back.  I find it unsettling that he has an 18 year old son, but I'm willing to look past it.  Donnie, say hi to your brother Mark for me!!

So that was the night.  I got ZERO pictures because I forgot my camera (booo), but I was too busy screaming like a little girl to take pictures anyway.  We had a lot of fun, it was the perfect way to say goodbye to my 20's and hello to my 30's (my official birthday is Friday for anyone who wants to throw money and presents at my face).  Thanks to mom and dad for the tickets, R and I loved them! 

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Friday Confessional

It's Friday = confessional day = I'm on time for once!  I actually have been compiling this post for the last few days.  Warning, it's not for the faint of heart.  If you are offended by swear words, please look away now!
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I'm giving you a minute to look away.  Mom.
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I Confess: When I type a swear into my iphone while texting, I really do mean to swear.  I do not mean "oh shut".  I mean oh shit.  I do not mean "what the he'll".  I mean what the hell.  Enough is enough, iphone.  You can try and try and try, you will not make me a better person.  I will delete your correction and re-type my swear.  Every. Time.

I Confess: I follow this girls blog, M.O.D.G.  You have to say it like modge, not say the letters, that's dumb.  Anyway, she's hilarious.  She's my inspiration for doing paint art on my blog, like my questionable men hula hoop picture and my fit of rage molotov cocktail picture.  Anyway, M.O.D.G. opened an online store!  Her clothing items are extremely inappropriate, and I must have them.  Specifically the white tee shirt with "ass" embroidered on the front.  I just want to see people look twice, like...wait...what does that say?

I Confess: In other inappropriate news, my bloggy friend Amy showed me this little beauty of a website yesterday.  I'm dying!!  Really, by now you would think that I'm a really terrible person, and I swear I'm not, I just have the maturity of a 16 year old boy.  I want the one that says "shut your whore mouth".  Hilarious.  I wouldn't actually put it up on the wall because my kids can read, but I might give it as a gift to someone that doesn't have impressionable eyes judging watching everything they do.  Yes, C, I realise I didn't move the laundry basket when I vacuumed the rug.  Thanks for reminding me, though.

I Confess: I don't move stuff when I vacuum.  I wait until it moves on it's own. It always does.

And just for good measure, a really nice picture of my family...

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

China and the Timmy's

Hey blog, what's happening.  (I typed that in an Office Space voice)

Sorry I've been neglecting you lately.  I'll try harder.  So here's what's up... D got a promotion (holla!) and he absolutely loves it.  I'm super proud of him because it's a pretty prestigious thing and he worked really hard for it and it's pretty much his dream job.   And I'm not going to tell you what it is.  Because I can't.  Boo.

There are many up-sides to his job, including:
1. He loves it
2. He's meeting amazing people and going to amazing places
3. I got a part time nanny for the kids (known from here on out as R) for when I'm in school.  Turns out major universities frown on bringing your children to class.  Whatev.

The down sides:
1. I'm super jealous of his traveling and meeting cool people
2. He travels all.the.time.  He was home today for a few hours and it was the first time I had seen him since Saturday.  He won't be back till late Friday night.  It's an adjustment for all of us.

Now that the big news is out of the way, let's move on to me.  I had a midterm last week (philosophy... logic and probabilities, yuck) and one today (theories of international relations, counter intelligence, etc.), a paper on China due by 5:00 Friday that I haven't started on yet, and a midterm next Wednesday on everything China.

This pretty much sums up what the next week will look like for me.  Scary.
So, I've been busy. I'm still not finished with my patio set.  As much as I love looking out at my deck and seeing the table, it would be nicer if I had the chairs finished and could sit on it.  Clearly that's asking way too much.  Our air conditioner is being a jerk and keeps being warm air instead of cold, like that's some kind of a funny joke.  Let me assure you that it's not funny, especially when it's 100 degrees outside.  At midnight.  Not funny.

That's all for now.  Writing China paper time.  I'll try to be better at the bloggy thing this week. 

OHMYGODIALMOSTFORGOT!!!  My girl R (not nanny R, bestie R) and I are going to NKOTBSB this weekend!  Ahhhhhhhh!!!!  I love you Jordan Knight!  D thinks all of their names are Timmy.  He's so lame.  My mother in law made a really good point, though, that by combining their names into NKOTBSB it actually reads "New Kids On The Back Street Boys".  Eeew.  I'm hoping it's not like that.  We might dress in 80's stuff, haven't decided yet.  Pictures for sure next week!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Friday-ish Confessional

It's the Friday Confessional!..... just a day late.  Sorry, I've been busy.

I Confess: My creativeness has been out-of-control lately.  For normal people that would be a good thing, but I get all OCD and can't concentrate on anything else.... like, oh maybe dressing and feeding my children.  My mom called me yesterday and gave me the heads up that it was 1:00 pm, we were all still in pajamas and no one had eaten lunch.  Thankfully she brought McDonald's and broke me out of my zone.  Thanks mom.

I Confess: This gd patio set is still not finished.  I worked on it allll dayyyyy on Thursday and I finished.... the table.  That's it.  Lowe's is out of my paint color- grrrr, and it takes f o r e v e r to paint.  It looks so pretty though, I can't wait for everyone to tell me how cool I am when I post the pictures, because that will totally happen.

I Confess:  I didn't do the link-up with Mamarazzi like I usually do on the Friday Confessional because she got all weird on me last week telling me how I needed an email address and how it would make my blog so much better.  Um, I don't care what you think I need.  I blog because I like it, I'm not a professional.  But anyone out there reading can feel free to send me money.  I'm totally cool with that.

I Confess:  I've had a stressful week and haven't been eating much and today my shorts felt too big.  YES!!!!!!  Bring on the stress!!!  Is this how eating disorders start?  I sure hope not.

Okay people, last week I asked you to leave your confessions in the comments section and you didn't... except for Dottie who failed miserably when she went for her Caribou Coffee.  Stay strong, Dottie!  It feels so good to confess something, you don't have to be in church to do it and no one knows who you are, the internets is magic like that! 

Kthanksbye.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Friday Confessional

It's Friday Confessional time!  I can't think of much off the top of my head, but I'll give it a shot...

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I Confess: Last night I got to hold our neighbors nine week old little baby boy for the first time and I didn't get baby fever.  What a strange feeling.  Is this what it means to know when "you're done"?  I mean, I would like to have another baby (cough-boy-cough) but I don't really want to do the whole baby thing again.  I like sleeping too much.

I Confess: I've been SUPER crafty lately (mostly in my head, not actually doing things that are crafty) and yesterday I actually started a project!  My mom recently found a wrought iron table and set of four chairs at a yard sale for $15 (!!!!) but it's that hunter green eew gross color.  I figured I would paint it black but then I saw this on one of my favorite blogs and decided to go for something different.  I'll post pictures as soon as it's done.

I Confess: I went to Jeni's twice in two days this week.  This is not helping my dreams of losing weight.  Notice I called it a dream, I'm not really doing anything about it, so it would be considered a dream.  I am getting no-fat/no-whip lattes at Starbucks.  I suppose that counts for something.

I Confess: The Jeni's website is in my favorites bar.  I suck.

Now what do you have to confess?  Leave it in the comments please!  Kthanksbye.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Typical

Today I was walking out of class and saw two men, both wearing a speedo, both on stilts, with hula hoops.  I wasn't brave fast enough to take a picture, but I think this about sums it up...

The guy on the right was bald.  This may or may not be important to you.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

J Eats Crabs... And Other Stuff About Vacation

This is the official Vacation 2011 Recap.  I'm not going to tell you where we went because it's a super-secret-no-tourists-allowed spot and I don't want the internets to ruin it with a bunch of pale people with fanny packs and teenagers cruising the strip.  If you really want to know send me a message and I'll probably lie and tell you a different place. 

Here's how it went down:
We drove this year because G is two now so I would have had to pay for a plane ticket for her (not happening).  I was a wee bit nervous about how the kids would do in the car but was pleasantly surprised, they were traveling champions!  We left here at 3:45 am and got to our beach house at 6 pm, and each of them napped for a mere half hour in the car.  I'm not even joking.  But it wasn't too bad.  Lots of rot-your-brain Disney movies and melted crayons all over the new car seats, but no crying so I'm willing to take that trade.

The kids ruining my car

G hated the sand (much like her Daddy) and it took the whole week to get her comfortable to walk from our beach tent down to the water.  She loved the water, it was walking through the sand to get to the water that she hated.  She spent a lot of time in a baby pool on the beach, it was her rinsing place when the sand became too unbearable.

G in her "safe place"

C is a beach nut and loved every minute of everything that had to do with being at the beach, especially boogie boarding with Grandpa.  My poor dad was ready for a vacation from the vacation by the time the kids were done with him.

Again, Grandpa!  Again!  Again!  Again!  Again!

Both kids loved the pool.  G had a floaty suit and could swim float on her own.  C is a great swimmer and spent most of  the week with blood shot eyes from diving for rings without goggles on.  G especially enjoyed shooting people in the eye with water guns.  I tried to tell her not to, but she looked so innocent when she pointed it directly at your face.

Take that, Uncle M

G found a pair of sweet aviator sunglasses in the ocean that just happened to fit me perfectly!  They weren't scratched or anything and I figure they hadn't been floating out there for very long so I hurried and stuck them in my beach bag before one of our beach neighbors could come claim them.  I wore them on the drive home and got the worst headache.  Why would these gorgeous aves give me a headache?  Because they're prescription sunglasses.  Karma is a nasty thing.  And I'm still going to wear them.

C modeling my gift from the ocean

We ate at our favorite restaurant, and one not-so favorite one where my brother J tried to show my other brother M that it was okay to eat that crab whole.  "It's a soft shell crab.  You can eat that thing whole."  After five minutes of crunching and a bit of bleeding in the esophagus he determined that it was not, in fact, a soft shell.  Woops. 

One thing I learned this week was that if you have long articles on Chinese foreign relations to read for a class that you're taking, don't drink my dad's Caribbean Punch (that has four shots of rum before I added more because it didn't taste strong enough) with lunch right before you try to read.  I woke up two hours later with my head on the table, a permanent scar in my cheek from my wedding ring, and still on the first paragraph.

The week was great, the kids and I had a great time.  We missed D but he was home making the money to allow me to buy expensive dresses at the Michael Kors store.  Thanks, D.  Also, I'm really happy to be able to shower alone again.  I showered with the girls twice a day for six days and it wasn't my fav.  I'm probably going to have to go to the cancer machine tanning bed to keep up my sweet tan, it's a sacrifice I'm going to have to make though because let's face it, fat just looks better tan.  Easier than going to the gym!  Happy summer, y'all!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Friday Confessional

It's Friday, you know what that means!


Friday Confessional!

Sorry I haven't posted since last Friday, I've been a bit busy.  I'll catch everyone up with a few good posts this weekend.  In the meantime...

I Confess: The low point of my parenting career came this week as my sweet daughter G used me as a toilet while sitting in the ocean.  This week I have been peed on more times than I care to count.

I Confess: I bought the cutest Michael Kors dress this week, and it wasn't cheap.  I almost never buy expensive things for myself, so even though it fit into the vacation budget it still counts as a confession. 

I Confess:  If C doesn't sleep well tonight I think I'm going to pretend I can't hear her.  It's been FIVE DAYS since I've had a good nights sleep, and I have to drive for 15 hours tomorrow.  She is such a bad sleeper and not having D to take turns with this week has been rough.  She's five years old, time to sleep like a big girl.... or at least as well as the two year old.

I Confess: We saw a huge sting ray in the water today and I was all, "Look girls, it's a ray [conveniently omitting the sting part]!  Wow, isn't it pretty!  [Insert uncomfortable laugh] Come on, let's get out of the water now!"  All I could think about was how that was the last thing that Steve Irwin saw.

I Confess: I'm ready for vacation to be over.  I miss my husband and I miss my house.  I always think I want to try for a two week vacation one year, but I need to remember how day six of seven feels and remember that one week is enough.

OMG, I forgot the most important one!... Besides the human toilet...

I Confess:  I totally flashed this family next to us at the beach today.  I forgot that I was wearing a strapless suit that occasionally needs to be pulled on to make sure everything is in it's right spot.  Well, I got the girls a snack and took my coverup off to get in the water and- whoops!  Hellllooooo nice family next to us!  Sorry about the frontal nudity!